On psychology, life and love...

In psychodynamics, awareness of reason awakens insight in a person which helps him or her resolve his or her inner conflicts by making it possible to lead themselves towards psychological healing. Like a mechanic, a person must dissemble and categorize their thoughts to be able to find out what is wrong in them and also to be able to repair his or her broken parts. One of life's laws is that humans disintegrate as they grow. To be able to discern solutions and repair oneself, a person must visit his or her psychological history and study how he or she has disintegrated through the years. Through that they will be able to restore psychological health and live fully.

Amongst all the perceptions offered to us by Sigmund Freud, there is one basic principle psychodynamic proclaims: a person heals himself.

In our reality, life and death exists side by side. There will be no life without death and no death without life. This paradox is what i believe balances existence. We know that we exist because we can define non-existence. We destroy ourselves in order to create a better self. We experience pain to be able to feel more happiness. We break our own hearts to be able to make it stronger. We get old to be able to appreciate youth. We fear to find courage. And we die to realize that we have lived.

If this perception of a paradoxical world is considered then I can finally prove that this perception causes our human tragic flaw: Love.

Love gives us hope even in the most unfortunate moments. Love keeps our faith because it never fails to believe no matter how tired our souls are. Love finds happiness in a world of pain. Love inflicts hurt to experience happiness. Love gives life and could also let it go.

And like life, love keeps on going. However, love is so paradoxical that its only opposite is indifference. Love sparks in the midst of indifference because we are all bound to feel. Therefore, like life and death, there is no escaping love. For it is our purpose to feel so we can define existence and upon defining existence, we live and in death we realize how much we lived through how many people we loved.

It is love that heals a person and it can also destroy one. However, it has the power to give life in death so it can create a better person. Just like the basic principle i learned from psychodynamics and Freud.

In the end, we all start with a beginning. Everything is a paradox. That's what makes this reality true and real. This circle of truths is connected by a purpose. An unavoidable purpose that we all live for. And that is love.

The Psycho and The Psychologist

6 episodes of The Pyscho and The Psychologist
all written by me
voiced by jeff bowe and me
edited by me

wait...
who's me?

and what's this?

click to find out then! you dummy!

03 rape.mp3
05 anger management.mp3
dreams.mp3
happiness.mp3
romantic love.mp3
sexual orientation.mp3



OR
copy this to your browser:
http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/03%20rape.mp3 http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/05%20anger%20management.mp3 http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/dreams.mp3 http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/happiness.mp3 http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/romantic%20love.mp3 http://www.fileden.com/files/2008/12/4/2210838/sexual%20orientation.mp3


wanna download? right click the link, choose save target as... and that's it! enjoy!

June 3 - the results

The fourth week went fine. i studied for Physics plus i had lots of sleep so i was able to think fast and finish the test early even if it was moderately hard.

So here's a conclusion to my behavior modification program.

let me just summarize how my program goes:

goal: to be able to remember scheduled tasks for the whole week without using a planner.
positive reinforcement: when i successfully remembered and done a tasks at its scheduled time and date, i will earn 30 mins of PSP playing time.
negative reinforcement: when i dont remember the tasks i have to do, the stress of hurriedly finishing these tasks and the lack of sleep thereof is what i will suffer.
Changes made:
at first i awarded myself 1 hour psp playing time but it was too much, so i reduced it to 30 mins.

What worked?
I believe my whole program worked for me although at first it was hard and forgetting a task is too costly, i was only able to turn that consequence into a motivation to modify my behavior. By using classical conditioning, i was able to overpower my forgetfulness in an unconscious way by using stress as a negative reinforcement.

What didn't work?
I believe that my negative reinforcement was much stronger than my positive reinforcement. in the whole program, i did not find my self feeling that i wish i had more psp time when i didn't earn any psp time because when i didn't earn psp time -- or in other words, failed to remember a task -- i am too busy cramming up for that task that i dont find a space in my mind to wish for psp time. I'm not even persevering to remember tasks because of the psp time im going to earn because of it, I was only persevering to remember tasks because i don't want to end up stressed and tired.
I couldn't say that my positive reinforcement did not work at all. it just wasn't as strong as my negative reinforcement. Whenever i play my psp during the program, all i could think of is that i earned that fun im having with my psp without having to worry that i might be eating up some time that's supposed to be for another task.

Influence of Heightened Awareness
Heightened awareness, theoretically, should have a big influence in my program because this awareness could help me remember tasks. At first this heightened awareness helped me remember tasks. That's why in the first day of my program i have perfected my schedule. But, after the first week, i was able to just go on my program without worrying about it. I just do what i remembered to do and record the times i did them and by the end of the day, i check them if i did them right. If this heightened awareness influenced me, it could only influence me in a good way, which is by helping me remember.

I have three main results i got from my program:

Improved Self-Confidence and Less Stress
Because I know I could follow the schedule i set for myself at the correct times and days, i became less stressed and more confident about the day ahead of me. My worries about forgetting something is less bothersome now compared before when i was so worried that i might forget something I had to do that sometimes i actually forget a lot because of my worrying. With less worry, i became less stressed and thus, less tired.

More Productive and Creative in my Tasks
Because i have set enough time for my tasks (i.e. a project, test, or homework) I was able to add on some creativity to boost my grade. Also my productivity increased a great deal because i have more time in my hands. In addition, instead of the usual stress i feel when im doing these tasks, i'm having more fun and learning more from the school work i had to do. As a result, i get better grades than a crammed up work just because i was forgetful.

Improved time of sleep and health
By accident, I was able to observe my health during the course of time of my program. i wasn't been able to drink my vitamins for almost 3 weeks now because of the eating schedule changes in our house. Usually, when i fail to drink my vitamins for an entire week, i will surely have a cold after. But since, i had more sleep, less stress, and have been eating 3 meals a day, i haven't even felt the difference in my body to remember that i haven't been taking my vitamins!

The Possibility of the Changes to be Long Term
The behavior i modified in my program -- to be less forgetful -- has a high possibilty of being a long term change. After this program, why would i need to use my planner when i could remember my tasks? It is easy to continue my program because it's not much of a bother. In addition, the results weigh more than doing the program itself. actually, i am planning to continue with my program until remembering tasks for me could be second nature.

The most challenging part of this assignment is when i fail to remember tasks because not only i would be stressed and tired but my grade could suffer also. Nevertheless, this challenging aspect of my assignment is also the key to making it more effective. without this aspect of my program, the program wouldn't have worked.

I am glad to have participated in this assignment and to have reaped the results from this program.

the last week of the program...

Again, i'm expecting to remember all the tasks i have for this week because there's not much i have to do. I just have an exam for physics on Thursday and another extra credit I'm planning to write for psychology. Maybe i could even add some studying time for my history class just to lessen the load for my finals. So probably, i'll devote Tuesday and Wednesday to study for Physics and then write my extra credit on Thursday and on Friday i could read for History.
I admit that having too little to do to forget things is what i didn't expect to happen when i planned my program. Honestly, this is the first time that has happened to me that the last 2 weeks of the semester is just breezing by. And maybe its because of this program. Because of this program i was able to avoid cramming just because i remembered to do things more.

I hope this week will be fine. I wish i could still remember my tasks and not forget them because i'm relaxing too much!

new idea...

Third week was not so bad. I only had to do my performing madness paper and that's it. So, i spent more time into doing some more extra credit for psychology. Next week will also have a loose schedule with just an exam for Physics. So maybe i'll schedule some time to study in advance for History since that gives too much reading load.

Overall, I think my program is working although there might be too much changes around my schedule to really be certain about the effectiveness of my program. At the start of my program, i really was struggling to remember things i have to do but now, i remember doing them right before their scheduled time. But, there could be a number of confounding elements to the results of my program. For example, the first two weeks of my program were the critical two weeks in the semester. Those were the times were all the exams are happening and all sorts of papers had to be passed. Those two weeks were crucial because it's the last chance to catch up with classes and the last chance to earn points. Since stress could be one of the factors that causes forgetfulness, i might have been more forgetful at that time. In addition, my physical condition at that time wasn't all that good because i've been sleeping late and skipping meals. So now in the third and fourth week, when all things are starting to calm down while going into the finals, i remember more of my tasks at their correct times. Bottom line is, i am not sure if I'm improving because of my program or just because i have lesser stress right now compared to the last 2 weeks.

This doesn't mean that it is all or nothing with my program. i'm sure the program is a big help because i survived almost a month without a planner or anybody reminding me what to do and when to do it.

into the third week...

The third week of my b-mod program will be starting tomorrow alongisde the slight change i did to my positive reinforcement, which is rewarding myself 30 mins of psp playing time instead of the original 1 hour.

So far, the results of my behavior modification program are fluctuating. There are numerous interferences that could be the cause of my forgetting and also another factor is the stress and my physical condition.

I had a couple of comments in my blog that reminds me to watch my health, and honestly when i was formulating this program, i didn't think about my health at all. In fact, I don't think about my health at all! If there is one thing i worry aboutmy health, its endurance because with my crazy schedule, i need to be able to last long enough to finish everything. To do this, I play badminton to improve my physical endurance and after an hour break i go straight to my physics class, which, on the whole, also improves my mental endurance. Endurance comes in handy whenever my schedule is so tight there is literally no time to sit down and breathe. Like what happened last Wednesday when i only had 2 hours of sleep and basically no time to nap before my psychology exam. And yet, i didn't feel any sort of tiredness... The only side effect of my having too little sleep is that i get dizzy easily. And that's it.

I told you about my health because I am considering it as one of the causes of my forgetfulness. And I was just thinking that if I, alongside this program, try to improve other aspects of my health and not just endurance, it might maximize the possibility of making the improvements of this program more permanent.

Since it is already the third week of the program and health improvements take more time to kick in, i will not have any reinforcements for sleeping earlier and eating the right food. But, i will note the changes i did to my health as tasks that i might or might not forget. For example, I might forget to eat lunch even when i scheduled to eat at a certain time. And when i remembered this lunch task, i might also remember this additional information that good health improves memory. By remembering this, i would choose something healthier than the usual pizza that i get for lunch. It's still about remembering tasks so its not like I'm leading away from my b-mod program. It might just help me remember things better.

The incoming week is not that much of a stress so i guess results of my b-mod will be better this time.

second week - The Lesson I Learned

This week gave a good start with a disaster in the middle but ended with a good finish. My week is super packed with an important psychology exam and an essay i have to perfect. So i did the essay all weekend and planned to study for psychology Monday and Tuesday night BUT, Monday backfired on me.
Previously i said that in my observation of my routine in the whole week, Mondays are the worst days to shedule something very important and tiring because i spend 12 hours in school starting from 6:30am-6pm.. But i had no choice but to include studying on Monday for my psychology exam because there was just too much study load for me to study all that in one night. But, i was too tired on Monday that i slept really early. I didnt entirely not study. I was able to open my book and notebook for a quick review and overview of what might be on the test. I was also able to strategize how im going to study such a big load of stuff to balance in my head. But, this studying that i did last Monday wasn't done at the scheduled time therefore it is not considered as correct. Therefore, the negative reinforcement hit me on the face on Tuesday.
Last Tuesday, as my negative reinforcement, i have done an all nighter for studying psychology. I slept only two hours. i studied from 7pm until 1:30 slept 2 hours and woke up again and studied until 8am.
I had to cancel the first hour of my show and my meeting with my counselor on Wednesday. And Thursday is for doing this psychology blog and tomorrow Friday is to do some extra credit for psychology.

This domino effect failure of my second week is a lesson -- a very hard lesson -- i must learn. Even if i failed to remember the times when i have to do my tasks plus, that worst mistake of it all, neglected a remembered task just because im so tired, I can only conclude one thing: The lesson I learned this week, although it was tough and risky, can only prove that my program is effective and perfect for me.

I'm feeling positive for next week.

a slight change

i've decided to change my positive reinforcement. Iadmit that I'm not really sure if this change will be effective or not but it does apply as to how i understand a positive reinforcement should be.

From the way I understand it, I believe that a positive reinforcement must be something I should be looking forward to when i do a specific action that would reward me of this positive reinforcement.

Currently, my positive reinforcement is that whenever I remember a task and do it at the correct scheduled time, I'll reward myself an hour of playing my psp. Playing my psp is an effective reward and also a retrieval cue because my group of friends, including me, play psp during our breaks. So if i deprive myself of playing psp while i envy them playing their psp, i would work harder to remember my schedule. Plus, seeing a psp could be a retrieval cue that could pressure me into trying to remember if i forgot a task to do or not.

But, sometimes i am thinking that it was 'okay' if i didn't remember a task for that day because i have won psp playing hours from the past days that i remembered a scheduled task. So, to make it a more effective positive reinforcement, instead of 1 hour, i'll reward myself only 30 minutes of psp time. i chose only 30 minutes so that i will work harder to remember tasks for more psp time.

This change will be effective tomorrow Monday, May 12th.

two oopsies

So, last time, I said that this past Thursday and Friday are going to be crazy.
Well, I did what i have to do on Thursday but it wasn't at the right time. I remembered to do the task 2 hours later, at 9:30 because i watched a movie with my aunt. So, instead of doing my stuff for my radio show at 7:30pm, i did it after the movie, which is at 9:30pm.
Friday is worse. Today, i'm supposed to wake up at 6am to call my friend from the Philippines. But since it was cancelled yesterday, i decided to wake up at 7am. BUT, since i slept late last night because i started my radio show stuff 2 hours behind schedule, i decided to wake up at 8am... and at 8am, i hit the one hour worth snooze button because i was thinking that it was Friday anyway and i have no class so there's no need to wake up early. So i finally got myself out of bed, STILL 2 HOURS BEHIND SCHEDULE and that was all because i watched a movie yesterday.
so... yeah. my negative reinforcement of stress and tiredness did happen... and i screwed up my whole homework day because of it. Today, i'm supposed to do some psychology extra credit at 7am then start my history essay at 10am. I started my essay at 10am. I wasn't expecting to finish my history essay today because its my homework for the weekend. But all the planning, reading and outline, i finished today. I finished all these at the exact schedule, 1pm. and ate my lunch and got ready to do some grocery and chores. Lastly, I had a little task i had to do at night, i just finished doing it actually, i didn't allot a time for it because its my mother's day gift for my mom so i had to do it in secret... =) and then the last task, is doing this psych blog.
Not bad for the first week of my program. I only missed one task and forgot to do another task at the correct time. Let's see if I have more improvements next week.

Miracle Monday

Monday, May 5th - the first day of my program gave an unlikely result -- a miracle! Previously, i observed that Mondays are the most undesirable day to schedule a lot of stuff because of my weekend hang over (again, i'm not talking about artificial GABA) and because i wake up too early and i'm too tired after 12 hours of school to do more tasks at home.

But the first challenge happened to me on the first day on my program and the risks are too costly for me to take just because i forgot to do these tasks. But, there's no other day to do these tasks but Monday. And guess what? I did all of them. I repeat, ALL OF THEM. At the exact right time and ended at the exact scheduled time. Perfect. It was just plain perfect. 3 tasks for Monday, i remembered it all perfectly. 3 hours of psp time for me! whoo!

Tasks I did on Monday

10:15 - Library - take physics homework answer key and photocopy
10:30 - Student Services - set an appointment for my counselor
7:30pm - study physics

I guess this is a good start for me on my program! Everything's working great!

Tuesday and Wednesday worked fine too! but i haven't got much to do on these days. Tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday will be crazy days for me. Wish me luck!!

May 5 - what i've got so far

i know i talked about my program but i haven't started it yet. I'm going to start it tomorrow, May 6th, Monday. The past week, i only observed how my day goes if i don't have anything to do. Because, luckily, i didn't have anything much to do last week! Hahaha! it was a miracle... but i got a lot out of my daily routine to help me write a better schedule that will give me retrieval cues so i can remember better.

I observed that on Mondays is when i usually forget most of my duties because...
1. it's a Monday - weekend hang over (im not talking about artificial GABA)
2. I wake up really early (6am) because i had to be at school at 6:30.
3. My last class for the day ends at 6pm.

so basically im at school for 12 hours on Mondays and is also under stress most of the day because I do an on air live radio show at 8am to 10am, then i have a super boring class at 11:30 that i really struggle to stay up on, and after that class i only have 20 mins. rest because my next class will be at 3pm and that will be 3 hours in front of a really big Mac Monitor editing sound waves. By the time i go home, all i want to do is to just sit back and relax. Usually i sleep for an hour between 7:30-8:30pm and then i'll start my homework if i'm able to wake up! So there's a lot of causes during Mondays why i forget the things i must do.

I have the same schedules on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I wake up at around 7am, and my first class is at 9:45am then an hour break from 11-12pm then my last class ends at 3pm but im able to go home at around 4:30pm.
there's not much interference for Tuesdays and Thursdays which makes those days perfect for hardcore scheduling.

Wednesdays are also flexible too but i have to wake up an extra early that day, 5:30. I arrive at school at 6:45 and then I do my on air live radio show at 8am-10am then i go to Psych at 11:30 then i go home right after.

Friday is usually my homework day. This is the day i do the tasks that i forgot to do during the week or tasks that i do in advance in case i forget them. but i only have the morning until around 3pm, after that i go to my relatives.

Saturdays and Sundays are more focused on house chores such as doing the laundry, vacuuming the house, cleaning the bird cage and doing the groceries. I only add in between the tasks that i should finish. So I guess, Saturdays and Sundays are bad days to hold a tight schedule.

Now that i have a good idea of when i should be scheduling a lot of tasks and when i should schedule easy tasks, i think it would be easier for me to remember because the tasks doesnt go against my daily routine.

Good luck to me on my first week of my program!

April 29 Behavior Program

So here's the result of Monday's behavior observation.

9:30am - remembered to go set up an appointment with counselor
11:30am - inquired about history essay

i was able to remember to go set up an appointment with my counselor at 10am but when the time arrived, i forgot to go and set up that appointment which was weird because i had absolutely nothing to do from 10am-11:30. I only remembered that i forgot to set up an appointment during break for history class. since i only got 20 minutes difference from my history class to the next, i wasn't able to go set up an appointment and this was moved to be done tomorrow after my physics class.
i will be doing my physics homework after this... and do my household chores after that.


i think my behavior didn't change much since the behavior baseline... so i guess the mere absence of my planner is not enough. This observation is going to affect the program im going to design in order to make this behavioral modification work.

The challenging thing about using operant conditioning to modify my forgetfulness is when to actually do the reinforcements or the punishments. Will it be right after remembering the task correctly or at the end of the day? In psychological terms, will be fixed ratio or fixed interval?

But, based on my observations today, i choose a fixed ratio schedule of reinforcements. Everytime i DO (not remember to do) something that i believe is in my schedule, i will ask my friend to check my planner for the day if it was right. The reason why I will be asking a friend is to avoid seeing the next task that is planned on my schedule for the day.

If the task was at the right time and day, my positive reinforcement will be more time for psp in the evening. I will have time for psp because i will leave out an hour for me to do anything that i want. BUT if I forget the scheduled task after that hour, there will be a punishment of stress because surely i will be staying up for it and after playing my psp more than the normal length of time i play, i will surely be tired already to do this scheduled task.

If the task i was doing was delayed, advanced, or at a time that i should be doing something else, my friend will simply tell me that i shouldn't be doing that task but won't tell me what the task is supposed to be. I should strain to remember what i should be doing at the moment. Furthermore, i will be punished because i will have no extra hour to play psp because instead of psp, i will add a task on that extra hour, either an unimportant homework that i could set aside but, ofcourse, something that i had to do just because its my punishment.

Example:

Schedule for the day:
10am - schedule an appointment
7:00 pm - physics homework


(positive reinforcement)
-10am i set up an appointment = since the next task will be in the evening, and my class will still be at 11:30, i could use the one hour playing time i earned for myself (yey!)

(punishment)
8:30pm - i did my physics homework but the time is not right - no psp time for me plus i will add another task in my schedule which is to do the physics homework for tomorrow.


The reason why i chose playing psp as my reinforcement is because psp is all around me. It could be a retrieval cue sometimes by helping me remember that i could get an hour playing time by trying to remember something at a right time. Why is psp all around me? hahaha... all my friends play psp everytime we hang out together (even my aunt at home plays psp!), we play music with it, share each other pictures with it, watch anime with it and lots more. So for me, not allowing myself to play psp is a punishment because everybody else will be playing except for me.. ='(

I believe that this program will be effective because i have psp as a retrieval cue and as a positive reinforcement tempting me to try my best to remember. And also because there is someone (my friend) to help me observe my behavior, keep track of my schedule, and to check if im not cheating my way into this behavior modification project.

let's try it again

usually Mondays are the busiest of my days on the week because i got class until 6pm and my school day starts at 6:30 plus i still got chores in the evening and homework to do.

so here's my schedule for tomorrow... let's see how many i'll forget.

Monday, April 28th

10am- set up sched with counselor
11:30 - inquire about history essay
7pm - psychology blog
8:30 - physics homework
10pm - clean birdcage
11pm - vacuum house

there it is... i still have not used my planner since this project started so maybe i'll remember more because i've been straining to remember things since i observed my behavior on the week of April 14th.

Behavior at Baseline

The week of observing this behavior has passed and this is what i remembered from the schedule I wrote last week:

Week of April 14th
Monday
10am - remembered to turn in forms
10:30 - meeting
12pm - turned in history homework
3pm - turned in forms

Tuesday
2:30pm - did some physics homework
7:30pm - created song list and script

Wednesday
6am - print experiment paper
10am - study for psych
11:30am - turned in psych. homework
7:30pm - finished physics homework

Thursday
8am -studied for physics
12pm - turned in physics homework

Friday
12pm - studied for history


the things i forgot to do:
- my promos and station sweeps
- studio time
- study for psych

and obviously most of them i didn't do at the assigned time.


The thing is, I do these tasks whenever i remembered them. I don't fail to do them because i set them aside, i fail to do them because i fail to remember them. And when i do, I'm always in a hurry to finish them, which i guess another reason why i forget the other things im supposed to be doing at that time.
The schedule i made last week is the ideal schedule for me so that i will not be cramming during the week. But i still ended up cramming my physics homework until 1am and trying to study as fast as i can the next morning before i went to school. If I had followed the schedule I set myself, I would have a good amount of sleep everyday and reduce more than half the stress im having just because i don't have my planner to remind me what to do.
My schedule isn't at all hard to remember because it's based on my daily routine. I usually do my homework after dinner, print things i have to turn in in the morning, and study the day before. But even my daily routine gets screwed up without my planner.

Operant conditioning is, in a way, given in my situation. If I remember my schedule, I would have a good amount of sleep, I'll be less tired, and less stressed. If I don't, an all nighter will kill me eventually. (just kidding)

Ideas that might help me improve this behavior in a long term basis might need more research about improving the prospective memory. The prospective memory is our memory of our plans to do in the future, like schedules or paying bills, taking medication. In my research i will try to devise a way for me to help me remember what i should be remembering to do.

oh.. another thing

since i'm supposed to keep track of this behavior and how many times i do it, i'm not going to use my planner AT ALL.
what i will do is that i'm going to post this week's tasks that i have to do and the time and date i should be doing it. and try to remember it for the whole week. i'm just going to bring a small notebook so i could take note as to when i remembered to do that task and actually did it.
by the next time i should record my progress in this blog, i will put in the times i listed on my notebook and compare it to the original schedule i made for that week.

so for the week of april 14th here's my schedule (classes that i have to go to is not listed)

Monday, April 14th

6am - print history homework
10am - turn in internship forms
10:30 am - meeting
11:30 am - turn in history homework
7pm - finish physics homework

Tuesday, April 15th

6:30pm - create song list and artist info
9pm - study for psych

Wednesday, April 16th

6am - bring field experiment paper (the reason for being late is actually my forgetfulness)
11:30 am- turn in experiment paper
6:30 - write 2 :30 promos and 2 :10 station sweeps for radio show
7pm - study for physics test/finish physics homeowork

Thursday, April 17th

6:30pm - try to finish history study guide
3-5pm - studio time

Friday, April 18th

10am - finish history study guide (if i still haven't)
1pm - study for psychology chapter 5 & 6

i will view this schedule on Sunday night and i will not view this blog again until after the 18th.

april 15 - introduction

Introducing.... Carlotta!!!
I'm doing this blog so i could monitor a behavior i want to change for psychology class.
one thing about me is that i am very forgetful.
the solution i did for my being forgetful, is a planner.
but when i actually forget my planner, i'm screwed.

so... apparently... the planner solution i have been doing since i got into high school, doesn't work.
instead of the planner helping me to lessen my forgetfulness, i became dependent on it, so i could get by even if im forgetful.

to take advantage of this class, the behavior i want to change is my being forgetful.
by the end of this project, i want to be mindful or at least a little bit less forgetful.

i'm really hoping i could change this behavior of mine...
so, please comment on my blog.. it might help me remember! hahahaha