I have learned so well the skill of putting myself outside the box, which contains my thoughts and emotions, that I sometimes cannot distinguish what I am feeling anymore. At times like these, the best remedy is to describe and determine the emotion through careful categorization of the little emotional possessions i have very discreetly hidden in my box. However, the criteria of classifying which emotion is which is unreliable for it is constantly influenced by the media, my education, and the people around me instead of my own unclouded perception. To resolve this bias, I consider the root or cause of the emotion. I endlessly searched this tattered overflowing box of mine for answers as to what might be going on for me to feel this way. Unfortunately, almost everytime I go through this routine I end up with one definite answer: I will never know what these emotions are without bringing out what I've hidden inside my box.
I end the cycle on that roadblock simply because I do not see myself fit to wield the power of emotions. It's power can drive me to get to know myself more and thus loving myself more. As a result, I will fight for what I want and what makes me happy which would definitely mean I can lose. Refusing to fight does not create an imbalance between people because there will be no winners or losers. Refusing to fight will just require a compromise of pride and soon the situation will let both parties go on with their lives. i can definitely give up my pride but i cannot take losing. And this is why I choose not to fight.
On the other hand, no matter how tainted "pride" is, it still brings people benefits that one needs to live fully. Some of the most important are integrity, respect for oneself, perseverance, and determination. And if one loses too much pride by refusing to fight, in other words, if one lets himself get beat down without retaliating, it makes losing more probable. For after patiently enduring the compromise of pride, both parties end up with a heavy guilty feeling. One is the guilty feeling of fighting someone who doesn't fight back. And the other is the guilty feeling of not having the guts to fight for himself. Therefore, the philosophy of life presented earlier is just plain trash and still does not answer the question I have been trying to answer for years:
to fight or not to fight?
I find myself facing a wall I cannot climb over and I ask myself, "Is there a need to fight?" The wall disappears and I am again outside my box cruising though life storing away my emotions, which i again perceive as weapons of destruction.
Round and round the cycle goes like how Pandora pondered to open or not to open the box that is believed to doom humankind. The box that indeed brought hurt to the world but also gave us the strongest thing we can hold on to, hope.
Hope keeps people standing and fighting to follow the current of power brought upon our emotions. It leads us to believe that even with the higher probability of losing, we can win. Hope instills insight in a person giving light to guide him as he delves the dark corners of his own box and wield the power of his emotions. And more importantly, it leads him to have faith in what he believes in and that is, he will win. With this, I conclude that the greatest philosophy in life is to never lose hope... fight.
